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Cap'n Eri

by Joseph Crosby Lincoln

Pages
about 294
Category
Literature & Fiction
Language
English
Reading time
5.4 h at 250 wpm
Start readingThe whole book, as cards or one word at a time. 3 h at 450 wpm in Read mode.

From the opening

“Perez,” observed Captain Eri cheerfully, “I'm tryin' to average up with the mistakes of Providence.”

The Captain was seated by the open door of the dining room, in the rocker with the patched cane seat. He was apparently very busy doing something with a piece of fishline and a pair of long-legged rubber boots. Captain Perez, swinging back and forth in the parlor rocker with the patch-work cushion, was puffing deliberately at a wooden pipe, the bowl of which was carved into the likeness of a very rakish damsel with a sailor's cap set upon the side of her once flaxen head. In response to his companion's remark he lazily turned his sunburned face toward the cane-seated rocker and inquired:

Captain Eri tied a knot with his fingers and teeth and then held the boots out at arm's length.

“Why, Perez,” he said, “I'm averagin' up, same as I told you. Providence made me a two-legged critter, and a two-legged critter needs two boots. I've always been able to find one of these boots right off whenever I wanted it, but it's took me so plaguey long to find the other one that whatever wet there was dried up afore I got out of the house. Yesterday when I wanted to go clammin' I found the left one on the mantelpiece, no trouble at all, but it was pretty nigh high water before I dug the other one out of the washb'iler. That's why I'm splicin' 'em together this way. I don't want to promise nothin' rash, but I'm in hopes that even Jerry can't lose 'em now.”

“Humph!” grunted Captain Perez. “I don't think much of that plan. 'Stead of losin' one you'll lose both of 'em.”

“Yes, but then I shan't care. If there ain't NO boots in sight; I'll go barefoot or stay at home. It's the kind of responsibleness that goes with havin' one boot that's wearin' me out. Where IS Jerry?”

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