Siege of Washington, D.C., written expressly for little people

From the opening

MY publisher gives it as his opinion that a great many persons will be offended at what I have said in this work. He thinks, also, that "quite a number" of our great generals will be seriously disturbed in their dignity on seeing what liberties my artist has taken with them. Such opinions as these are rather too common with publishers in this country, who generally take very narrow views as to what public men think and do. This work was not written to offend, but to amuse and instruct little people. I have too much respect for our great generals to believe that they will feel offended at what I have said of them. Some of our little generals may perhaps take exception to the positions my artist has assigned them, and feel disposed to make war on him. But there will be nothing new in this, inasmuch as any close observer of the war must have seen that these little generals were always more fierce in making war on writers and artists than courageous in facing the enemy. That the Siege of Washington was the most remarkable military event history has any account of, is very well understood among those who participated in it. I must beg the reader, then, not to place false judgment on the pleasantry introduced here and there, since I have recorded, with great care and correctness, all the military movements, that took place during that memorable occasion.

YOU, my son, have heard, and perhaps read, how Rome was once saved by a goose. There were, as you know, my son, a great many geese abroad during the siege of Washington; but it was not through any act of theirs that the city was saved. As I love you dearly, my son, so is it my first desire to instruct you correctly on all subjects in which the good of our great country is concerned.

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