The Book of Nonsense

From the opening

There was an Old Derry down Derry, Who loved to see little folks merry; So he made them a Book, And with laughter they shook, At the fun of that Derry down Derry!

TO THE GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN, GRAND-NEPHEWS, AND GRAND-NIECES OF EDWARD, 13th EARL OF DERBY,

(The greater part of which were originally made and composed for their parents,)

There was an Old Man with a beard, Who said, "It is just as I feared!-- Two Owls and a Hen, Four Larks and a Wren, Have all built their nests in my beard!"

There was a Young Lady of Ryde, Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied; She purchased some clogs, And some small spotty dogs, And frequently walked about Ryde.

There was an Old Man with a nose, Who said, "If you choose to suppose, That my nose is too long, You are certainly wrong!" That remarkable Man with a nose.

There was an Old Man on a hill, Who seldom, if ever, stood still; He ran up and down, In his Grandmother's gown, Which adorned that Old Man on a hill.

There was a Young Lady whose bonnet, Came untied when the birds sate upon it; But she said, "I don't care! All the birds in the air Are welcome to sit on my bonnet!"

There was a Young Person of Smyrna, Whose Grandmother threatened to burn her; But she seized on the Cat, And said, "Granny, burn that! "You incongruous Old Woman of Smyrna!"

There was an Old Person of Chili, Whose conduct was painful and silly; He sate on the stairs, Eating apples and pears, That imprudent Old Person of Chili.

There was an Old Man with a gong, Who bumped at it all the day long; But they called out, "O law! You're a horrid old bore!" So they smashed that Old Man with a gong.

A short sample. Read the whole book

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