The Spirit of Contradiction

From the opening

Mr. Townly M. Oronte Mrs. Townly Mme. Oronte Lucas, the gardener Lucas Angelica Angelique Edward Richly Valere Mr. Nelson M. Thibaudois Lawyer Notary Lackey Lackey

The scene is a garden before Mr. Townly's house in London. Lucas, the gardener enters in a rage.

Lucas: No, sir. I can no longer put up with your wife's temperament.

Townly: You have to forgive her, because the spirit of contradiction is natural to her.

Lucas: When she contradicts you like crazy,--you, her husband--that's natural, huh? Well, maybe. But it isn't natural that she should contradict my garden.

Lucas: To be perfectly frank I don't like being gardener here--or anywhere there are women. A woman in a garden causes more damage than a million hedgehogs.

Lucas: Everything I've planted is torn up. She's replanted all the weeds I tore out when I was grafting. She said they're wildflowers. Then when I planted the cabbages she said she now wants lettuces. Nothing is done by her order that doesn't reverse something I've done. Yesterday she half buried my prunes under melons. I believe, God pardon me! that it would be better for me to plant watermelons in the grape arbor.

Townly: She's unreasonable, but let's forget about that, Lucas. Let's talk about marrying my daughter. I need your advice about that matter.

Lucas: I haven't got an idea in my head because I've been fighting with Madam. That puts me in an uncultivated state--me and my garden. And besides, she's just discharged me.

Townly: Don't worry about it. Never mind. I'll take care of you.

Lucas: How are you going to take care of me against her--when you can't take care of yourself? Hey! did I ever tell you that you're too easy with her? As soon as she says yes or no, you say the same.

A short sample. Read the whole book

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